The train departed. Well, get them this T-shirt as a present and point to the 10% imagination and the “unicorn mood” that is needed to do math and you’ll surely make them smile. 7. You'll never be bored again. Believe it or not, putting salt on a railroad track in Alabama was once punishable by death. to Chicago. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only a single ticket. 12. Why are ghosts no good at running a railway?A. ... More posts from the Jokes community. Did we catch up with the cow?”, 58. 10. 8. God's Model Railroad. Fun Fact: For the Harry Potter fans out there – the Hogwarts Express is a real train which runs across 84 miles of railway in the United Kingdom (in Western Scotland). Q: What do you give a train driver for Christmas?A: Platform shoes! seeking at him, another man said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making several expansive gestures. Said to a railroad engineer: “What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.”The reply from the railroad engineer: “How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?”. When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.eval(ez_write_tag([[250,250],'toytraincenter_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_4',132,'0','0'])); 88. Went to a railway fancy dress party. 46. A chew chew train! “Run faster! 33. A railfan was walking along the tracks when he came across an old lantern covered with ash and dirt. “That’s nearly impossible,” he stated. 32. Q: There was a train with passengers inside. The train was about to pull out of the station. (P) Dynamic brakes don't work at any speed. There was the time that the president of the Maryland and Pennsylvania (short-line) Railroad demanded to get a free pass to ride the Pennsylvania Railroad. Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. 50. When he picked up the lantern and began cleaning it, naturally, a genie suddenly appeared. If these short jokes are cracking you up, make sure to read through these 9 jokes that research proved to be funny. I am over 18. I’ve always liked one-liners. Let’s get to a shell using our image: At this point, you can play with the base gpt-2 smallmodel and generate some text. I’ve always liked one-liners. Ticket inspectors. Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. The dispatcher responds by asking him what road he works for… The engineer is a little upset and snaps “What difference does that make?”“Well”, the dispatcher drawls, “if you work for the BN it’s 2 pm; if you work for the UP it is 1400; if you work for the NFS the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 2; and if you work for Amtrak it’s Tuesday!”. Model trains are like breasts. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?Nowhere, they are the survivors! Q: Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted?A: Because he’s not a conductor! 23. …you rent certain movies at the video store because you know there is a very cool train scene in it. Q: Why did the monster eat the caboose?A: The locomotive told it to choo choo. 34. 64. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.When he had gone, an American tourist, also on the train, leaned forward and asked if I spoke French.“No”, I admitted.“Then that explains”, she said, “why you didn’t bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train.” eval(ez_write_tag([[468,60],'toytraincenter_com-leader-1','ezslot_0',130,'0','0'])); 54. See more ideas about jokes, in laws humor, funny tshirt design. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. Trains Jokes. 76. 73. What’s the angriest piece of track? His shoes start to smoke! Q: Why is the track gauge 4′ 8-1/2″ wide?A: Because it is the mean distance between the neck and ankles of damsels in distress. But I warn you, sometimes when people wake me up, I get really violent, but no matter what I do or say, you have to get me out of this train in Mannheim. 93. 95. Is that clear?”The ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. The man starts running in mid-air. */. I assume you want diesel power.”. 15. 99. How do you find a missing train? 301 Moved Permanently. a centerpiece of the. Follow the tracks. Basically, they’re always up to something and they’ll definitely enjoy the message on this grey T-shirt. 82. From a modelling standpoint this may mean having to train a separate “funniness” model which will be used to filter through the jokes that are generated. Q: Why is Duck not a very useful engine?A: Because his windshield is qwacked. I paid you 100 francs so you wake me up in Mannheim. If you like and want to read more train jokes, below is a compilation you can read through: These are some of the humorous, fun and exciting jokes about a train and a train toy could bring. Q: What do you call a pretend railway?A: A play station. Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. 42. But at the same time, remember that one person you know who’s actually struggling in math. (S) This locomotive not equipped with dynamic brake. We have scoured our sources to compile a list of the Top 100 Train Jokes, including train jokes for kids (including the ever popular Thomas the Train), railroad puns, train one liners,  interesting railroad laws and the popular “You Might be a Railfan If…” jokes. 19. 81. Train-spotters The term refers to the anorak-wearing British men folk (and it is nearly always males) who chose to spend their free time standing by the side of railway tracks waiting for trains to go by. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.“Congratulations,” the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. Faster!” He lowers the man and the man’s feet touch the platform. Why was the Model Railroader tossed out of the party? “No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half power. Later, as the man had said, he did fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized he was in Frankfurt. The woman sees the same conductor walking past again.She leans out of the window and yells “What happened? Model Train Jokes For Children Model train hobbyists frequently have questions about model train scale. Q: What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home?A: He had to give it back! 2. 80. Q: How do locomotives hear?A: Through the engineers! The conductor took it and moved on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. Why did the train have bubble gum? “You were going 65 mph and the speed limit is only 60 mph, I saw it myself on the speedometer in the business car!” After a heated exchange, the engineer finally said “you couldn’t possibly have been going 65, my speedometer said 60 mph and we never saw you go by us!”, 79. As I was on the train on the way home last night, I thought hat a good topic for this week’s puns and one-liners would be train jokes, so here are a collection of railway related gags. New hilarious pictures submitted daily. If you think this long list of train jokes compilation has brought you a good laugh and had made it to your humor, feel free to share, #mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; width:100%;} The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. …while stopped at a RR Crossing for a long train, the other drivers are swearing and shaking their fists, but you’re smiling and waving at the engineer & conductor. 13. Q: Why is that train engine humming?A: It doesn’t know the words. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously.‘Your parents just left you,’ said the stationmaster. This is an awesome gift for that friend or sibling of yours who’s into math and science. And you didn’t! A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. 25. Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. 18. (P) Something loose in cab. We’ll start by cloning the code to download and train the GPT-2 Small model. ‘It’s just that these long trips get very tedious so I tell myself jokes.”Why then, inquired Maggie, ‘do you keep raising your hand?”Well,’ smiled Roger, ‘that’s to interrupt myself because I’ve heard that joke before.’, 62. 44. 45. eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'toytraincenter_com-banner-1','ezslot_13',150,'0','0']));14. His wife was so furious she took the train and broke it over his head. Dec 21, 2014 - I don't know what's more telling--the number of pages in the Wikipedia talk page argument over whether the 1/87.0857143 scale is called "HO" or "H0", or the fact that within minutes of first hearing of it I had developed an extremely strong opinion on the issue. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. In Wisconsin it was once illegal to kiss on a train. Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train guard?A: One trains the mind, the other minds the train. Oh, and did I mention that with every purchase, you’ll also get a FREE greeting card and a pendant? The other passengers stare in amazement. One day an engineer calls the dispatcher and asks him for the time. Response to passenger complaint about increased sleeping car fares:“The berth rate has gone up since your last trip.”, 78. The complaints and suggestions book was given to him and he wrote: “There should not be any last couch in the train. eval(ez_write_tag([[250,250],'toytraincenter_com-box-4','ezslot_1',149,'0','0'])); The “How to Math” T-shirt is exactly what the title suggests: a pie chart diagram breaking down the percentages of… how to do mathematics. 21. A large two engine train was crossing America. Humming Train Joke. They have a tender behind! A train was going very, very slowly, and a group of tourists were growing increasingly impatient. In West Virginia, it was once illegal to sleep on a train. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails. I found that many people spoke only their own language and this included the ticket inspector on the train. 27. Your email address will not be published. Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle. A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. Q: Why was the Model Railroader tossed out of the party?A: He spiked the punch. A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. The collector hangs the man in mid-air out the door. Even though trains are one of the oldest forms of transportation (they date back to the 1800s!) …when you are parked and getting ready to back out of your space you give two long blast of your horn when releasing your parking brake, three short honks before backing up, and then two honks before moving foreword. Look no further! The parents had another drink, Gordon had a coke. 100. A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track. Mar 9, 2018 - Explore Toy Train Center's board "Train & Rail Jokes", followed by 1836 people on Pinterest. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service! Notify me of follow-up comments by email. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails. good train and railway jokes are hard to come by. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too. 90. 36. I might be able to get the engineer to slow down the train a little. Young Gordon was with his parents and they were taking refreshments in the bar at Reading station when they heard a whistle. ... Model Train Joke. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. Q: Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains?A: Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer’s chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved in the last couch of the train. When he got in he said to the ticket man, “Sir, I really need you to do me a favor. 96. Required fields are marked *. Let’s try it out with this pro… Model train jokes. He starts to slow down! 67. (S) #2 traction motor seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 motors lack normal seepage. I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks. Talk About Your Second Childhood "Boys" And Their Toys It comprises 700 trains with more than 10,000 carriages and wagons. (P) #2 traction motor seeping oil. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. Training. As always, don’t expect them to be too funny or too original… A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. Sample picture only for illustration Model train jokes We feature beginner and advanced help on all model railroading scales, including layout track plans, model railroad product reviews, model train news, and model railroad forums. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly.”, 55. As always, don’t expect them to be too funny or too original…. I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked. 30. , loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. (S) This locomotive not equipped with dynamic brake. The “Train Wreck” T-shirt has an awesome message and a great dark-grey color. The crossing lights are not flashing and no trains are coming, but you slow to a crawl and look up the track both ways in hope of seeing a train. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road”. Q: What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers?A: Oh good! 71. He’s made it! He had to keep track of everything! Ticket inspectors. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” said one perplexed accountant.




. 10. Is anything the matter?”Oh, no,’ Roger answered. 69. He lost on points. The accountants took their respective seats, but all three engineers crammed into a restroom and closed the door behind them. The T-shirt is 100% cotton, comes in sizes from Small to 2-XL, and can be easily cleaned with machine cold wash. A man was going by train from LA. 75. Enjoy these great Train Joke. 40. …you’ve been questioned more than once by the police asking, “What are you doing parked by the tracks?”. Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes. 60. 91. (S) Something tightened in cab. This is a squawk sheet left for the Engine shops by a train crew. 43. 5. I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. 83. Things such as trains and train toys have something memorable, funny and inspirational to offer. It comes in a variety of sizes from Small to 3X-Large and is made 100% out of cotton. 11. The repository comes with a dockerfile, let’s build the image: Great! A passenger train is creeping slowly along. It comes in sizes from Small to X-Large so… it is actually the perfect T-shirt for couples! The T-shirts were chosen for their light and breathable material and, of course, their funny, lighthearted design and message. The longest train is 46 ft long. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle. “Do you want to go by Buffalo?” inquired the ticket agent.“Certainly not!” she answered indignantly, “I want to go by TRAIN!”, 77. …people look at you funny as they drive by while you are standing out in the middle of nowhere by a railroad track with a tripod and a camera. He tried to cover his tracks. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. ... A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. And the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." 94. Model Railroad definitions of prototype words. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. Download App. Q: If an electric train is heading north, which way would the steam be coming out?A: There wouldn’t be any. A cross tie. Every time the train stopped at a station he faced many problems, as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. 92. Available on: 9. He lost on points. You’ll also find jokes about Thomas the Tank Engine and some of his friends on this page – or you can visit a page dedicated to jokes about Thomas and Friends. This train doesn’t even STOP in Victoria!”. “Since you have freed me from the lantern, you can make a wish,” the genie who was attired in coveralls and an engineer’s hat announced.“I thought genies always granted three wishes,” the railfan said.“Those are the lamp and bottle guys,” the genie explained.The train fan nodded his understanding.“Okay then let’s have a request unless you want to stand around and discuss waning wizard wishes.”The railfan quickly replied, “I would like a railroad built to Hawaii.”The genie stared at the railfan and shook his head. One of them said, “this is is longest stairway I have ever been on.” To this, the other replied, “It’s not the stairs that bother me, it’s the low banister.” A large two engined train was crossing America. 85. 98. Look at you, panting away.” The young man took a deep breath and said, “Pop, I missed this train at the last station.” eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'toytraincenter_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_16',131,'0','0'])); 61. Choose your size on Amazon. I need to catch the 10 o’clock train to Dublin.”The man at the other end said “Well, we are very busy at the moment but we’ll have a taxi out to you as soon as we possibly can, but don’t worry, the 10 o’clock is always late.”The first man then said, “It certainly will be today, I’m the driver.”. For example, supply and demand is a mental model that helps you understand how the economy works. Achoo-choo train. “Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria,” the collector said. To their astonishment, the engineers didn’t buy a ticket at all. A lady passenger got off the train at the newly built standard gauge railway station at Jamestown, with a child in her lap and 2 suitcases. Model Train Joke. He was so mad at the ticket man, he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man.“Are you stupid or something? Q: What wobbles when it flies? We’re going to use docker from here on out, just because it’s easier to manage the code and dependencies. Great train story - museum of science and industry, Take the model railroad trip that can whisk you cross-country in minutes, or fascinate you for hours. 39. Helix - A cat that enjoys sitting in tunnels waiting for trains to come in so he can attack. Funny train jokes and puns for kids and adults. It’s a gift you’ll definitely want to get for your loved one. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. On inquiry she found that the actual town of Jamestown was some 2 miles away from the station.“Why did you not build the station closer to the town?” She yelled at the station master.“Well at first, we thought the same”, said the station master, “but then, we decided to build the station near the railway line!”, 52. Give an unforgettable gift and make your loved ones laugh today! An example brute force approach would be to generate say 100 jokes and only return the funniest joke … ‘Why are you laughing?’Gordon smiled, ‘They only came to see me off.’. He’s my arch enemy. The T-shirt is made of ring-spun cotton, which makes it both light and breathable. 3. Q: Why is it not safe to doze on trains?A: Because they run over sleepers. (S) Something tightened in cab. (S) #2 traction motor seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 motors lack normal seepage. He knocked on the restroom door and said, “Ticket, please.” The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. …you have a scanner in your car tuned to the train channels to have a heads up on their locations to intercept them at crossings. A man called a taxi company in Waterford (Sth Ireland) and said “Can you help me? Everyone was wearing platforms.
2020 model train jokes